Encouragement

This week did not turn out to be too bad. I did break down and eat eight buffalo chicken wings, and they were finger licking good. But that was the only fried food I had all week. I am pretty proud of myself.  With the help of a very close friend, I was able to eat a healthy lunch all week. It is feels good to have someone help you through the tough times, and the first week is always the roughest (for me at least).

My husband has decided that we should clean out our pantry and start over. He said if I have to change my diet, then they should too. Considering both of our family medical histories, starting now would be a good idea. Especially since Devin has this fixation with Jack in the Box, Leah has to have her noodles, and he has to have his Whataburger. We shall see how that turns out. He said he was going to give up beef with me, but yeah that did not happen. His intentions are good, and his heart is in the right place though.

Things just seem to be less stressful when you feel like you are not doing it alone, or carrying the burden by yourself. Getting support from a friend, or your family, can take you a long way. I do not think I would have gotten this boost if I was not serious about my efforts. No one is going to help you if you are not willing to help yourself, right?

I know I am only fighting cholesterol, and I put myself into this situation, but support is needed regardless of the disease or the addiction (self-inflicted or not).This battle seems to be much easier knowing I have support coming from all directions; loving friends and family. I am ready to strap up these boots and go back in. Singing… “I’m going in. I’m going in, I’m going in and Imma go hard…”

Prayer for Guidance and Help

Dear Lord,

I am calling upon you today for your divine guidance and help. I am in crisis and need a supporting hand to keep me on the right and just path. My heart is troubled but I will strive to keep it set on you, as your infinite wisdom will show me the right way to a just and right resolution.

Amen

  

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow. " — Mary Anne Radmacher

Saddling This Pony

Okay so today was the first day of this journey, and boy let me tell you… I am hungry as hell, because now I have no idea what to eat and what not to eat. Looking at the labels on food just confuses me even more. I know I am supposed to stay away from processed foods, red meat, dairy products, and deserts. Well that is pretty much everything, what is left to eat?! Am I going to be stuck with eating darn salads and fish the rest of my life? Maybe I will just for lunch. Betty Crocker has the Low Fat/Low Cholesterol cookbook that I am going to go pick up, now that I actually have to cook every day.  Hopefully that will help me.

Also, my doctor called in my meds (lovastatin). I looked up the side effects on the web, and actually found this on the PubMed Health website:

What special dietary instructions should I follow?

Eat a low-cholesterol, low-fat diet, which includes cottage cheese, fat-free milk, fish, vegetables, poultry, and egg whites. Use monounsaturated oils such as olive, peanut, and canola oils or polyunsaturated oils such as corn, safflower, soy, sunflower, cottonseed, and soybean oils. Avoid foods with excess fat in them such as meat (especially liver and fatty meat), egg yolks, whole milk, cream, butter, shortening, pastries, cakes, cookies, gravy, peanut butter, chocolate, olives, potato chips, coconut, cheese (other than cottage cheese), coconut oil, palm oil, and fried foods.

Avoid drinking large amounts (more than about 1 quart, 1 liter every day) of grapefruit juice while taking lovastatin.

My question is why can’t other websites break it down like this? Maybe there are other websites, and I haven’t found them yet. But I need it broken down in layman’s terms. DO NOT EAT…. EAT MORE… Like really, when you tell me not to eat processed foods. Damn near everything is processed!!! Say something like, shop only in the perimeter of the store because healthier foods are typically found in the perimeter of the store.

This is becoming very stressful. I am stressed because I have gotten myself into this situation, and I am stressed because I can’t figure out how to get myself out. I don’t know if I am fighting genetics, or just a series of bad decisions.

Well, off to the pharmacy and then to the grocery store.

Why This Journey

In September 2010, or maybe it was October, I think it was October I went to the doctor for a routine checkup. Because of my family medical history, I have to check everything to make sure everything is everything. Lab results came back, and guess what! I have high cholesterol. Who knew?! I am 32 years old, and I have high cholesterol.

I must admit I have not been the best, when it comes to taking care of me. I never did pay attention to what I was eating, and after my daughter was born, in 2008, I must have gained over 30lbs. With the stress of family, work, and school I never had time to focus on my health. When I did start to workout in November 2009, it was because a male co-worker made a very slick comment about how much weight I had gained.

Working out five times a week became a part of my daily routine, and I dropped 15 pounds over the course of a year. Then family, work, and school started to consume me once again, and I stopped working out. I know excuses, excuses. It is the truth though! I was dedicated enough to work 12 hour days, but I was not disciplined enough to work out one hour each day. The one thing I have been disciplined about is not eating beef. Surprisingly giving up beef was not a hard thing to do. Lord knows I miss eating a juicy steak from Texas Land and Cattle, and a Big Mac meal from McDonalds.

Here it is April 2011. I went back to the doctor just last week to check my cholesterol again, and now my cholesterol levels are higher than they were before. Uuggh…cannot blame anyone but me. I am so angry with myself. As much as I say I do not want to die young, here I am killing myself. 

So this is no longer about me, this is about my kids. If I cannot be disciplined enough for me, then I need to be disciplined enough for them. I am starting this journey to a healthier me for Devin and Leah.